Felis silvestris catus.
Unless you live under a fucking rock, (and even then, the rock would have to be in space or on the bed of the ocean) you’ve probably noticed that the viral nature of cats has extended to nearly every inch of the internet. Youtube is constantly buzzing with our feline companions. Videos are uploaded daily portraying cats playing with bags, cats playing keyboards, cats dancing to dubstep, et all.
Here in Brooklyn, dogs can be a bit impractical. Though I, personally, love man’s best friend, I certainly wouldn’t be able to accommodate an 80 lb pit bull in my heroin closet of an apartment. Thus, I spend my free time buried between my 2 buddies, Angie and Wiley.
Wiley is afraid of everything. I have lived with my current roommate for a month now and he has seen him twice. If it’s just me, he comes out and acts a fool, but otherwise, he lives under my bed. Damn shame cause he’s so cool.
Angie is the alpha of the entire household. My roommate is like 5’2, and Angie is 5’3, so he’d basically be her bitch if they ever came to blows. 14 years old and still going strong, this bitch takes shit from nobody but once she decides she likes you, you’re homies for life.
Aside from being a more than adequate substitute for dogs, cats are also some of the most resilient animals on the planet. Their adaptability to almost any environment has see them survive in some of the most extreme climates, as well as some of the world’s harshest slums. Still, the average cat age can extend well beyond 15, depending on their surroundings. To all my fellow knob twiddling indoor kids, rest assured, your cat will live a long and healthy life nuzzled against your midi keyboard.
Let’s take a look at some of the other cats in the bass community
This is Motts aka Distal’s cat… As you can see, Motts is a bad ass motherfucker. She’s all chillin and shit… looks like she’s on a dirty towel, perhaps recently used? That’s part of what makes the cat so cool. She don’t give a shit… what’s a dirty towel to Motts?
This cat belongs to the elusive Dutch bit crusher we all know and love, Halp. If you’ve ever listened to his music, you can understand why his cat likes to sniff, chew, and eat markers… This cat likes to get OUT THERE. Can’t you tell?
Holy fucking shit, dude. I don’t know whose cuter, Petey (of Clicks & Whistles) or his buddy Oliver. You can tell Oliver is a sensitive thug. His main man makes some emotional trappy bass bangers, and you can tell Ollie is the one feelin’ his hood pain.
They say animals take after their owners. This is Deckard (get it, Blade Runner?) and he belongs to Shortstack, Atlanta’s prince of internet shenanigans and twitter mayhem. I don’t think a cat is capable of either thing, so for now Deckard is just a cat. But he looks cool.
This is my favorite picture, hands down. The man took a press photo style pic with his cat, Beanie. This man is Philly bad boy, Bombé. If you know Bombé, you know he’s a stone cold killa. His cat is named after iconic Philly rapper, Beanie Siegal. Nuff said.
Cat Stacks… no, not Kat Stacks, the ugly bitch who had the internet wilin’ with her scandalous videos… this is a stack of cats. Kitty and Brucey belong to Scottish producer Taz Buckfaster, and he assures us that his girlfriend named them. I’m sure if it were up to Taz, they’d be named Deicide and Immolation, or something equally metal and awesome. Maybe Meowlien vs Purrdator? Jeff and Dahmer? ::horns::
Hey Frodo! Hey Sadie! These are Starkey’s cats. They are brother and sister. I wish I had something more interesting to say about this. Street Bass.