Seclus Booze: The Coventry Arms

A lot of the places I’ve written about here (yeah, both of them) are small pubs in a small town in the Midlands that nobody is ever going to visit. And this month’s edition is no different! So in the spirit of irrelevant content that only four people on the planet can actually identify with, let us begin!

The Coventry Arms in Leamington Spa is one of the strangest pubs I’ve been to in a long time. The whole place seems to be completely running counter to itself in every conceivable way.

From the outside it looks like the hangout of a really impoverished gang – it’s essentially someone’s house with a disheveled set of seats outside, which are now more moss than seat but never mind. But once you step in the door you’re greeted with an interior that does not fit the outside at all, hard wood floors, an indoor fireplace and big, comfy sofas tell you that it desperately wants to be an upmarket pub that a regional manager in a bank might want to visit for some real ale and a spot of Sunday lunch.

And then, on closer inspection, our initial impressions of the place are reaffirmed. A quick scan of the regulars will betray their juxtaposition against the aspirations of the pub’s owners. Sharing between them the only 4 working teeth in the area, they look like the cast of Shameless bred with a sack of potatoes.

Amusingly, the owners of the pub have jacked the price of beers up in an effort to price out the locals. Unfortunately, this backfired so you’re stuck with super expensive beer and the constant background threat of violence and inevitable racism.

Having said that, I only have to walk like 30 seconds from my house to get there, so whatever.

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